So after two years of being a bridal consultant there isn't one day that goes by at work that I don't think to myself "I wish she knew.....ect" so here I am! Letting out all of the 'secrets' that aren't secrets at all. First of all I don't want this post to come off as negative or mean, I love what I do and even though I have not gone through the dress finding process myself I have helped find the dress 100's of times. I have seen it all! So here it goes, in no specific order. Some negative some positive. I hope either one will help you and your family and your consultant with the process of finding your dress!
1. Come with a positive attitude! You would be surprised how many brides come in super pissy and annoyed saying their friends or family dragged them in. Not only is this experience supposed to be fun IT'S YOUR DAY! I'm not saying you have to be all giddy and girly (me myself am not the girly type either) BUT what I am saying is that if your friends or family are "dragging" you there then maybe you should save this experience for another day!
2.Don't bring a bunch of people! This happens alllllll the time. Brides bring up to 15 people and those appointments NEVER go good. they may end up finding the dress but there is always soooo much drama and it stresses everyone out. There is no way you are going to please 15 girls! with one dress! Brides, you say you want your friends opinions but we all know you are going to choose what you want either way. A good amount of people is under 5. Anything over that is just too many. Your dress is supposed to be a surprise! Everyone will think you look beautiful on your big day anyway! And your bridal consultant shouldn't let you look anything but amazing in your dress! ;)
3. Please don't spray tan 48 before trying dress on! (I don't think one is a secret at all but you would be surprised) A lot of wedding gown stores sell dresses off the rack and if you come in with your spray tan you may not know it but you leave not only orange streaks on the dress but a smell that will never go away!
4. Try not to wear a lot of make up. deff. not any lipstick! this goes side by side with #3.
5. I can't believe I even have to list this one, but ladies PLEASE shower! If you know you have to get undressed and try on dresses on please be respectful to the dresses and your consultant and keep up with your hygiene!
6. Style your hair. A lot of girls come in with their hair not done just in a bun or something and I would too but after seeing this effect girls so much I'm putting it on the list! A lot of brides while in the possible dress will say "oh its hard to tell with my hair all messy". I'm not saying go get it done before your appointment but if you know you are one of those girls who will want to see the whole picture, do yourself a favor and come some what done.
7. If you are not 100% ready to purchase your gown the day you go shopping. DON'T GO SHOPPING. this happens all day everyday. I completely understand wanting to shop around and I can't wait for my time to go shopping BUT not having a budget set a side or even an idea about buying a dress don't waist every ones time shopping. I see this happen to girls all the time where they come right after they get engaged and fall in love with a dress. they get so confused and frustrated. not only do they not have money for it, they are not mentally ready yet either. buying your dress for the big day is a big deal! You need to be mentally and financially ready before you go pretending to be. Also dresses go discontinued and if you fall in love with a dress that you are not ready for it can disappear! :(
8. Buy a dress that fits you!!! Sooo many girls come in and buy dresses that are too small for them because they 'hope' to lose weight. I my self would want to lose weight before my wedding as well but the wedding dress process needs to happen 6 months before your wedding! If you are on a weight loss journey before your wedding you are probably not going to be where you want to be 6 months before the big day. That's what alterations are for! If you use a good alterations your dress will be fine! Ive seen a size 16 lace mermaid be turned into a size 4 and look BEAUTIFUL. I see it all the time that girls buy smaller dresses that cannot be let out and they end up having to pick a different off the rack dress that they didn't want :( don't let this happen to you! (if you do plan on losing weight ask your consultant for the measurements of the dress your ordered, that way you can keep track of your weight loss and make sure that you will fit into your dress!)
9. Set a budget! or at least a cap! A lot of girls when asked what their budget is say 'oh I don't have one -so you would pay $10,000?! I don't think so-. And tell your consultant! We don't care how much you can or cannot spend. We are there to help you! If its $200 that's fine! It makes it hard to help you when you are lying about how much money you can spend. It also makes a disconnect for us with you and your family, which is the last thing we want.
10. Don't judge your consultant! Girls come in with their friends and family and sometimes unfortunately judge their consultant like they should know EVERYTHING and know EXACTLY the dress. It's a learning process with each different bride. The more you all open up, the more we can help you!
11. Come with an open mind! 80% of the time brides leave with the complete opposite of what they came in for. Which is usually a struggle to get them into! Tons of brides come in with a picture of dress off Pinterest of some random google dress and say that's EXACTLY what they want and they compare everything to that dress. There are soooo many dresses out there and you never know untill you try it on! In my appointment I always bring brides dresses that they ask for and I always bring 1 'curve ball' I always tell them 'this is the curve ball, but for me try it on!' sometimes people dislike it and sometimes it ends up being exactly what they want. I mean come in! It is my job to find you a dress! Plus I see girls in dresses all the time! We know what will best suit your body type. Trust us!
12. Don't try on every dress! Anything above 10 in one appointment is ridiculous. Girls stress themselves out so much trying on so many dresses! I know it's hard to look at it like this but its just like normal shopping! If you need to go to someone elses wedding you go to a few stores, you try a few dresses, you pick one and you never wear it again! It's the same thing! Pick the dress that makes you feel beautiful and that you want to buy. There are ALWAYS going to be more dresses, you will never get to try them all on! Once you find the one you love. BUY IT!
13. There is no magic that happens when you find the dress! With all of theses shows on TV now about wedding dresses it has totally changed the out look on how you should feel when you find your dress. ITS TV PEOPLE! So many girls say, 'I love the dress but I'm not crying so it must not be it' I swear to you that in my two years of selling wedding dresses I have seen MAYBE 15 girls cry. Everyone is different! You cant count on your emotions picking the dress! ITS A DRESS! If you feel beautiful and amazing in it, its yours!
14. Trust in your decision! If you love something that your friends, family or even fiance don't. WHO CARES?! it's your dress, you should get what you like! Of course I recommend trying on different things. For example if you want a fitted sexy dress but your parents really want you in a princess dress because you are their little princess...you have to be honest with them and with yourself! So over all if you love something, you should get it!
15. Don't wait last minute! If you want what you want, give yourself time. Sometimes dresses can take up to as much as 6 months to get! And you don't want to give yourself less than a month for alterations before your wedding.
16. Don't shop too soon! If you are getting married in over a year you probably aren't ready to purchase your dress. So many girls come in to the store because they 'can' since they have the ring on their finger. this applies back to #7. Deff. do your research and start to find designers you are interested in and styles that catch your eye but this doesn't mean go find the dress because I'm 90% sure you are going to feel weird finding your dress a year in advance and taking it home and having it sit in your closet a year before the day!
17. Try not to bring kids. I know that sometimes this is something that people can't always get around but if possible, I advise you to not. This is probably one of the biggest distractions for brides. This appointment is supposed to be all about you, and yes you love your children but when making such a big decision your attention needs to be on you! Also bringing kids can destroy some elses experience as well. More than a handful of times my appointment have been ruined because someone brought their 5 kids and they are running around the store yelling and crying and my bride can't concentrate on her experience. Also with so many fragile things around a bridal shop it is no place for children!
18. Make an appointment!!! A lot of places now are appointment only but even if they accept walk ins please make an appointment. If you make an appointment we are prepared for your visit! We have an available room for you, available chairs for your party and an available consultant to work with you. If not, you and your party must wait sometimes even up to 30 min. And usually that starts off the appointment with an annoyed bride. BUT it is first come first serve. The brides that make the appointments get helped first and walk-ins get helped when there is time available.
19. Please don't ask for discounts. This puts us in a very uncomfortable position. It also makes us feel that you don't trust us. Also remember that we do not get to choose the price of the dress. The designers give us a price that we have to sell the dress for. This also puts us in an uncomfortable position because if we literally cannot offer you a discount we are looked at like we are just trying to get more of your money. This is not true.
20. RELAX! so many girls come in super nervous about changing in front of a stranger. I WOULD TOO! But now, I don't think twice about it when a bride changes in front of me. ITS MY JOB! We are not judging you, that is not our job. Relax and let us help you and let us give you an amazing experience that you deserve!
So for now that is all I can think of, and if I think of anything else trust me...I will add it!
I really hope most of you take this as a good thing! This was literally made to make your dress hunting go smooth for you and your consultant. Speaking as a consultant, it is very hard job. We only ask for respect and honesty! So until I can think of anything else there it is! 20 tips to help you in buying your gown!
Please feel free to ask any questions or add any comments! :)
and to any new brides, CONGRATULATIONS! <3
